Bored? Stressed? Need a break? Or maybe you just need a little awww, ha ha ha, omg, or oomph to continue your day? If so take a moment & read this. It’s just a little something to entertain your thoughts for a while... an email message that has been going around & around by those who’ve been entertained by it & wish to share in their entertainment. It’s meant for sharing, so please forward.

Twas the month before Christmas*

*When all through our land,*

*Not a Christian was praying*

*Nor taking a stand.*

*See the PC Police had taken away,*

*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*

*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*

*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*

*It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say*

* December 25th is just a ‘ Holiday ‘.*

*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*

*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*

*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*

*Something was changing, something quite odd! *

*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*

*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*

*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*

* At Lowe’s the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*

*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears*

*You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.*

*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*

*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*

*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*

*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*

*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*

*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*

*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*

* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*

*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*

*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*

*So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’*

*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*

*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*

*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,

not Happy Holiday !*

Please, all Christians join together and

wish everyone you meet during the

holidays a

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!

Cute eCards…


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On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.   For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking.   How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

So God agreed……

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.   For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years, that’s a pretty long time to perform.   How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God agreed…..

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years..  How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed again……

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.  For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But the human said, “Only twenty years?  Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay”,  said God.   “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.  For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.   I’m doing it as a public service.

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One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours.  At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers.

“I can fix that with some Aspirin…just take some and I’ll be better in a second.”

So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away.

The CEO says “We don’t approve of womanizing!”

The guy says “Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while you’re winking?”

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